When Did We Know?

Whenever we first speak with a new service provider they always seem to ask the question when did we know?  Know that our child was different? Was special? Was on the Autistic Spectrum? In retrospect, the signs were always there but Barney was not diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome until just after his 6th birthday. 


Let me back up a bit. Barney was born in May 2004, a healthy, full-term, 7 pound 8 ounce bundle of spice. At that time I had a 18 month old son as well. In the hospital, I sent my hours old baby to the night nursery in order to get some sleep.  I'd recently been through this newborn business and knew to take advantage of sleeping whenever possible. Unfortunately the nursery would not keep him because no matter what they tried, he would not settle down; I thought maybe the head night nurse was having a bad night.  They brought Barney to me where he did settle down but he nursed so hard and so long by morning my nipples were bleeding.  I was no first time nurser.  My older son had only weaned about six months prior and I had never bled before, so clearly something was different this time around. 


We brought our new baby home to the chaos of a toddler.  I'd always read that second children can sleep through anything so I wasn't too worried.  Not this kid!  He screamed, nursed, and screamed some more, for weeks on end.  Yes, he did sleep of course, just not as much or as long as typical newborns. As in the hospital, no one but Mommy could soothe this child;  he needed to be in my arms at all times.  The co-sleeper I had used with his brother remained empty.  Barney only slept if he had skin to skin contact with me.


OK, so every baby is different.  Maybe my first born was just incredibly easy and this was they way most babies acted.  I soldiered on because this was my child and I loved him unconditionally.  Barney continued to eat at an alarming frequency, gaining weight so quickly from breast milk that my family joked I was feeding him chocolate milk. He had gained over 3 pounds by his 4 week check up.  I expressed concern to his pediatrician who assured me that babies cannot overfeed themselves while nursing.  Still I worried, it felt like his brain never received the message that he was satiated. Little did I know what lay ahead.